http://www.habanim.org/en/index_en.html

Gilad Shalit was kidnapped 3 years ago today.
He has been held captive for 1096 days now.

Please pray for the safe return of Gilad ben Aviva and recite psalms 70, 13, 142 and 126.

…your prayers will be much apreciated tomorrow, 16 June 2009 between 9:30 a.m. and 6 pm UTC.

I cannot say more at this point whatis about to happen, but I can say that I’ll be in London and it won’t be business.

Also related to this issue this afternoon I had a lovely meeting with some lovely people here in Budapest who have promised their support with what’s about to happen in London tomorrow.

So please. Send positive thoughts to me!

The parliament in Ukraine is voting tomorrow whether to ban international adoptions with the exception of adoption to Russia. It has been a hot topic in adoption circles and it also is a hot topic in our home because of Efi and Maya’s desire to expand their family through international adoption.

The following was left as a series of three comments on a blog of a family who are in the process of adopting a child with special needs from Ukraine.

HaShem is in charge. There was a reason why you didn’t take him home last July (I think your advocacy for him turned many hearts towards the orphans of the world) and there is a very good chance that the law won’t pass. And even if it does, there is a reason for everything that happens, even if we mortals don’t see them.

There is also another type of advocacy that needs to happen, and maybe if this door closes, there will be more focus on it: the rights of disabled orphans in Ukraine: their right to stay in detsky doms rather than mental institutions, their rights for an education etc. I hope and pray if international adoption gets banned, those who have been led to the disabled orphans of Ukraine will realise that the amount of money they’d spend on an adoption could make a lifetime of a difference for an orphan within the country itself. Advocacy for these children who stay in Ukraine/Russia is extremely important, I believe, but this won’t really take off without the financial help of westerners who are drawn to these children.

Hm, this now needs its own blog entry, because I don’t want to spam your blogs with the ideas that just came to my mind.

See, the thing with sponsoring kids in Ukraine is actually quite possible without pouring money down the drain. Private entities can and do run orphanages (I know of at least 2 Jewish ones and at least 2 sponsored by the Hungarian Reformed Church and others are run by Catholics and Orthodox congregations as well as foundations). Most of these private orphanages have special needs children along the healthy ones: they hire defectologists (the official title for special ed teachers) and care for the children beyond their 16th year.

I have also seen the foster system of Hungary turn around in the last 15 years, and I do pray and hope that a similar turn around is in for Ukraine. But I think it will start with the influence of foreigners who can work through local charities/churches/organizations.

Also, just another thought when it comes to prayer to soften t he hearts of decision makers: there is the Hungarian saying “Help yourself and G-d will help you, too.” For me it goes hand in hand with what Rich Mullins once said at a small concert in my Catholic youth group when I was a kid: Pray with your heart and with your actions. I know there are lots of lots of people like you out there who actually live like these principles without often verbalizing them. I think and hope when a whole generation of children grow up and become productive members of society that were just “waste” in Ukraine and they are presented to these decision makers a lot of things will change.

I put my trust in what I hope: that there is G-d and he is in charge. And HaShem works many of his most wonderful miracles through people who follow him. Like you. Like your readers. Like the righteous of the world.

Sorry for spamming this entry, I just feel very very strongly that whatever the vote will be tomorrow, there is hope for the orphans of Ukraine.

(Also, I think one of the reasons for this proposal is not only the negative population growth, but also the increased willingness of families to give their kids up as they might be adopted. Families there need strengthening. Families with special needs members especially.)

Facing the truth about self is not easy most of the time, but here are six of them:
1. I use my disabilities as an excuse sometimes or to make people feel I’m entitled to certain things. I’m not proud of it either.
2. I’m the product of an adoption gone wrong from the beginning, and I do have attachment and bonding issues as a result.
3. No matter how much I wish, I don’t think I really believe in G-d but I’m raising my kids as Torah loving, G-d seeking young men and yes, I do feel like a hypocrit, but I think it’s the best for them.
4. Some so called Christians annoy me to no end (same with some so called Jews), but I admire and respect strong faith and Christians who actually live their Christianity. Rich Mullins is my hero, his songs still make feel a lot closer to HaShem (in whom, as I said before, I’m not sure I actually believe.)
5. My kids (10 and almost 6) know more about forensics than about cartoons. That’s because I keep leaving my books on forensics all around the place.
6. I’m not feeling at home in my chosen (home)land and it deeply troubles me. Yet I think it’s the best place for my kids so I am trying to change that feeling.

My G-d, My G-d,
May these things never end,
The sand and the sea,
The rush of the waters,
The crash of the Heavens,
The prayer of Man.
(Hannah Senesh)

Swiped from Éva’s LiveJournal.

Okay, people,old and new friends, here’s an opportunity to get to know me better! Ask me 5 questions, whatever really, and I’ll answer them. Then post the same in a note/blog.

This version of Shomer Yisrael performed by the very talented aharon Razel has followed me around since I first heard it in the summer of 2005, while the protests and the fight for Gush Katif was going on during, what my then circle of Jewish friends called Israel’s Orange Days.

This song was playing while I watched the news reports of the evacuation of Gush Katif residents, knowing that my brothers and sisters are on both sides: some IDF soldiers that are enforcing the evacuation, some Gush Katif settlers being evacuated. A summer later this song was playing as I watched the first news report of the Second Lebanon War, just an hour after receiving a text from my kid brother that he is not coming home for the weekend.

I was listening to this song when my dad messaged me a few days ago about my four foster siblings. Vitalik, Alla, Yuval and Arik have been living with my dad and step-mom since their parents and eldest sister passed away while visiting their native Ukraine/Russia last summer. Vitya is now 12 years old, and he is very excited about his bar mitzvah next year, however, while their dad was definitely Jewish, their mother’s Jewishness, as defined by Halacha, and as per the chief rabbinate, was debateable. Her extended family, who all moved to Israel in the 90’s and since, as many not-so-Jewish former Soviet Union olim, moved on to the USA and Canada, are born again Christians and classic Baptists, and were not too enthusiastic about a proper conversion for the kids. However, now two things are for sure: the kids can stay with my parents, as outlined in the will of their father, and as legal guardians they can go t hrough with the kids’ conversion if needed, or, can access records to determine if they are halachially Jewish. It seems the only relative of the kids, who actually cared to visit them since the parents’ deaths, an aunt from Tustin, CA is okay with it as well. Wether the kids can be legally adopted by my parents is still an issue–my dad is over 60–but it seems that Vitya will get his bar mitzvah celebration!

My eldest was born on 17 Nissan, 5759, (April 3, 1999,) so his Jewish birthday is always during Passover (Pesach). In my family we celebrate both Gregorian and Jewish calendar birthdays, and so every year we need a cake that is kosher for Passover. And this is where the problems begin. The ban on leavening is a big problem with cakes.

One year we had an impromptu matzah cake, that was pretty much matzah, chocolate pudding and hard chocolate frosting. That was okay, not counting the fact that my youngest and I can’t stand matzah.

Last year we tried a recipe that called for 10 eggs and 1/3 cup of matzah meal (like many kosher for Passover cake recipes on the net seem to) and the result for me was like a big, sweet cylindrical serving of scrambled eggs than cake. As most of the recipes call for an insane number of eggs compared to the dry materials, I am less than enthusiastic to try a new recipe, especially the test run with a recipe Kevin found yesterday resulted in a baking disaster.

So what will we do this year? A three-layer pudding cake, made from two layers of chocolate and one layer of vanilla pudding. It’s the old style, not-so-instant pudding (and think Dr. Oetker style rather than what a Briton would call pudding) that we decorate with fresh and canned fruit and serve with unsweetened whipped cream. As my son’s birthday is on the Shabbat this year, it is good that this pudding can be prepared in advance and kept in the refrigerator. It can either be served in the glass bowl it will be prepared in, or, if everything wirks out fine, it can be a stand alone creation. Photos of the end product to follow.

Happy Birthday to Jon!

Today I got off work early, and I was trying to decide what to do with my free evening. Being alone in Budapest the obvious choice would have been–could have been–going to shul, where I could see some friendly faces, and after the service I’d be treated to nice Shabbat food. There’d be candles lit at the kitchen by all the girls, challah and wine. There’s be singing and prayer and all the comforts of the Shabbat.

Instead, I decided to discover the new university district of a rather windy Budapest before going home, and while I was enjoying the sunset over the Danube from the balcony of my hotel room, I found myself humming Lecha Dodi. Sitting down for dinner I uttered the blessing over my Chinese take away and I started to wonder: why am I clinging on to these blessings? Why do I say my prayers? Do I really think–as surely, I do not know–there is someone paying attention to it all up above, or are these words are precious family heirlooms, much like the Shabbat candlesticks on my table.

Whatever they may be for me, I want to leave the comfort of these traditions to my children as an inheritance. I want them to be familiar with the words their ancestors repeated for generations spanning millenia. I hope that these words and traditions will provide the connection for my children not only with their forefathers, but with their people everywhere in the world.